Frienemies
by Risknight
Summary: Sheldon discovers that he and Penny share a common secret. The problem? He's been ordered to kill her because of it.


**How well do you really know your neighbors? (I do not own The Big Bang Theory, or the characters. Nor do I own Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which inspired this little piece.)**

* * *

_She had lived across the hall from him for six years. She took care of him when he was ill. She annoyed him constantly. She teased and provoked him into prank wars at least once a year. She was one of his best friends. And he was going to kill her._

_He was her neighbor. Her friend. He had helped her when she was hurt. He had helped her when she was broke. He had stuck by her when she and Leonard had their bad breakup. Both bad breakups. He was her favorite person in the world. And he was trying to kill her._

* * *

Penny slid another clip home and loaded the chamber. She eased down the wall and peered around the side quickly. Immediately several bullets slammed into the wall at her back. The moment the last bullet fired, she spun and shot off several rounds of her own. "Still there, sweetie?"

He ignored the taunt as he slumped behind the counter and wiped the dust and sweat from his eyes. He could hear her moving, adjusting her position. He quickly shoved a new magazine into his Beretta 92FS and took a steady breath. He listened closely. Damn, she's quiet! A slight scratching noise to his left brought him up, gun already firing.

Penny could hear him reload. Shit! She was almost out. She was going to have to make this up close and personal. She pulled a nickel from her pocket and waited for complete silence. She gently rolled the coin across the floor. As soon as it hit the metal shelving he was up, firing at it. She threw herself across the marble countertop at him.

They went down in a tangle of limbs. He rolled to the left and kicked out, catching her in the thigh. Penny's left hook caught him behind his ear. He grabbed her wrist and jerked her off balance, flinging her into the copier machine. Penny slid to the floor and groaned. Sheldon jumped up and kicked her three times in the ribs before she managed to wrap her hands around his ankle. She spun her body and bit down hard just above his knee. He slammed his elbow into her back and pushed her off him. Penny rolled with the motion and came up swinging white board easel.

Sheldon grunted as it connected with his ribs. He ducked her next swing and placed a couple of jabs to her ribs. Penny hit the table and slid to the floor. Sheldon grinned wickedly and took a boxing stance. "Come on, baby. Who's your daddy?"

Slowly Penny picked herself up, carefully concealing the test tube stand in her hands. She sensed his approach and spun quickly. She swung it like a baseball bat and clipped him under the jaw. Sheldon flew backwards and hit a file cabinet hard. He slid to the ground and Penny grinned. She spit out a glob of blood and moved closer, rack held high. "You hit like a girl, Moon Pie."

He grabbed the rack as she swung it down and used it to push her off balance. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to the floor. Penny's head bounced off the linoleum and she fought the nausea that rolled through her stomach. Sheldon wrapped his arm around her neck from behind and Penny bit down hard on his forearm.

Sheldon screamed and yanked her head away by the hair. Penny elbowed him in the solar plexus and regained her footing. She ducked under his arm as he rose and launched herself onto his back. Before she could get a good hold, Sheldon flipped her over his shoulder onto a table, knocking beakers everywhere. He climbed up quickly and slid his hands around her neck. Penny's legs wrapped around his waist and squeezed as tightly as his fingers did. Her hands clawed at his fingers, trying to get some air. He pressed his body down onto hers to force her legs to release him.

Both of them froze. Slowly she stopped clawing at him. His fingers loosened and he moved his hands to either side of her head. Penny licked her lips and brushed her pelvis against his erection. Sheldon pressed closer and ground against her. Penny's legs dropped from his waist. Penny reached up and grasped his nape. Sheldon leaned down and crushed his lips to her. Penny arched her back and gasped as he licked and bit down her neck to her breast. Her legs wrapped around him again, only this time it was sensuous, not deadly.

Sheldon raised up onto his knees and fumbled with his trousers. Penny tugged her sundress over her head. Then she grabbed the small scissors off the table and cut the sides of her thong away. Sheldon grabbed her hips and pulled her closer. She moaned as he slowly slid inside her. They held perfectly still for several seconds. Then she pulled him down for another earth shattering kiss and he began to move.

* * *

She smoothed her dress as best she could and searched for her other shoe. Sheldon buckled his belt and looked over his shoulder at her cautiously.

"Who do you work for," he asked softly.

Penny bit her lip nervously. "Freelance. What about you?"

Sheldon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "CIA. Black Ops"

Penny nodded as if not surprised. "Figures." She turned, gun raised to see Sheldon in the same position. "How long have you known about me?"

Sheldon shook his head. "They sent me the orders two hours ago. Then I called you and asked for a ride."

They stared down the barrels of their guns at each other. After a moment Penny lowered hers. She smiled sadly up at him. "I can't do it."

After a few seconds Sheldon lowered his own weapon and closed the distance between them. He held her in his arms and breathed deeply. "Me either."

Penny's arms clutched at his back. "So, now what?"

* * *

They had three choices. They could kill her. They could incarcerate her, and risk her eventual escape. Or, they could make a deal and bring her into the fold. Not a hard decision to make really. Besides, they had been getting concerned about Cooper lately anyhow. He was a lone wolf in the program and eventually lone wolves went rogue. Partnering the two of them meant that not only did the CIA have the two best assassins in the world working for them, but it gave Cooper the incentive to stay.

The only downside was that the two of them tended to be competitive. It did, however, make for some interesting case summaries.


End file.
